The topic for March 4: Top Ten Popular Authors I've Never Read. I am having a bit of trouble deciding if this means authors I haven't read that I plan to at some point or authors that I haven't and, unless someone pays me an obscenely large amount of money or blackmails me in some way, never will even if someone staples my eyes open. (This is a reference to Rita Ruder's movie rating system)
The official movie ratings are "General," "Parental Guidance," and "Restricted." I have my own ratings. They are "See at Movie Theater," "Wait for Video," and "Not Even If/When It Comes on Cable Someone Comes to My House and Staples My Eyes Open."
Rita Rudner, Naked Beneath My Clothes:
Tales of a Revealing Nature (1992)
And yes, I have read this book. It is pretty funny, but her standup routines are better. It helps if you can imagine her voice and delivery when you read the stories. Mostly remembering this book has made me infinitely glad that as much as my daughter loves dancing, I seriously doubt that she has any intention to try and become a professional ballerina.
So ... Top Ten Popular Authors I've Never Read ... that I might actually read someday. I am using the Amazon Most Popular Authors to decide who counts as popular.
2. Rick Riordan - I am assuming that one day my son (or eventually my daughter) might take to these books, at which point I will feel obligated to read them. So far that hasn't happened.
3. Diana Gabaldon - I have the feeling tribalism will eventually force me to at least read Outlander. I really don't think this is going to be my jam, but the drums are loud and with a live action version coming, I have a feeling I will have to give it a go just to say I did.
4. Jojo Moyes - I have an ebook of The Girl You Left Behind so eventually I will get around to reading it - I started it but wasn't in the mood.
5. Barbara Kingsolver - I have wanted to read Animal, Vegetable, Miracle for a while now. Yes, I know she has other more famous books, but this is the one that interests me.
6. Jim Butcher - the Dresden Files gets talked about quite a bit and sounds vaguely interesting. I can see myself getting around to reading at least the first book at some point.
Eep! I have a bit of a problem now. I have run through their top hundred and am only at 6. I need another source for what counts as popular. Humm... So now I have switched over to the List of Bestselling Authors on Wikipedia
Enid Blyton I am curious about ... I have seen some Noddy cartoons and have heard of The Famous Five. I know that these books play a large role in British culture, though there are some seriously problematic attitudes on display. I would be interested in reading some just to see what it is like.
8. Someday when I retire I might finally get around to Leo Tolstoy.
Right, I have basically run out of options here too - I have either read at least one book by most of these authors, they are romance authors I am not interested in reading (not my jam, though at various points in my life I have been stranded and read a few of these authors, so I say not my jam from a position of actually having tried some of the books), are things I have no plans to read (I am way to old to read Babysitters Club or Goosebumps books at this point in my life, why should I read R. L. Stine when I was reading Stephen King as a teen?) or are authors who write in languages other than English and of whom I have never heard (I need to work on that - I find that I am interested in Jirō Akagawa's mysteries though I have no idea about availability in English. I will have to look them up.)
So now I have wandered over to Top Books and Authors at LibraryThing
Now I am looking at authors like Haruki Murakami and Gabriel García Márquez, which I was skipping because I am interested in reading them eventually, but at the moment I am afraid that they sound too much like homework from a literature class.
9. I have been wondering about Alexander McCall Smith's The No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency books.
10. Ah - Khaled Hosseini - I want to read The Kite Runner
Hurray! I made it to ten. I am vaguely impressed by the number of authors on these lists I have read or at least tried to read. That is pretty cool.
That being said, there are several popular authors I have not read, nor have I any intention of doing so. For example: Stephenie Meyer, Barbara Cartland (actually I have this vague idea I might already have read one years ago when I was stuck in Wyoming with no reading material other than romances or horse journals), Danielle Steel, Sidney Sheldon, Dean Koontz (actually, now that I think about it, I might have read one of these too), or Clive Cussler (I know that I haven't read one of these at least!). There is nothing like being a voracious reader stuck someplace where your choice is books by an author you don't really want to read or the back of cereal boxes.
This was a really odd list to try to make. I am really curious as to what other peoples' lists are going to be like.